Birthday Eve

In a couple hours my first born is going to be FIVE.  The mere thought brings tears to my eyes. ( okay I am sitting here bawling)  I remember waiting to anxiously count her ten little fingers and ten little toes.  I do not think I ever knew just what an impact my sweet Ella would have on me.  She is the reason I am where I am today, why I am a mom.  I wish I could wrap her up into a bubble and just keep her like this forever. 

The moment you find out you are pregnant, anxiety and worry wash over you.  You worry about a miscarriage or if the baby is developing right.  Then you worry that you will make it to full term.  Then you have an infant and the stress of milestowns and SIDs can take over.  With each birthday, I do not think it gets any easier.  You NEVER stop worrying, each year brings something else.  This world is a scary place, too scary for my precious babies.  This year my baby will finally be starting school.  I tucked her into bed tonight and gave her a kiss a million kisses and told her that when she woke up she would be 5, her response was " when will I be 18?"


In a blink of an eye I'm sure.

Happy birthday my sweet girl.  I love you to the moon and back.